No Quivering For Me

i read an article the other day that really got me stirred up. i posted it on facebook and the following are all of my rambling thoughts on the subject:

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/09/656002/#.VB8K9rp231U.facebook

i’m sharing this for those who are like me. i’m not trying to offend anyone who loves the duggars or their lifestyle. i found this article fascinating and very accurate. that’s just me.

i was a virgin until i met mark. five. years. ago. but we had sex before we were married and that somehow tarnished my life in many people’s eyes, and it was like all the good i had ever done didn’t matter anymore because i wasn’t pure. that is what is still being taught to girls all over the place. it breaks my heart.

i spent thirty years trying my hardest to do everything the bible and my church said. i took things very literal, and i took it all very seriously. but i was still sad and lonely. no one will ever know what those thirty years were really like for me. we all have our stories. my point is, i’m not ashamed of my decisions. what i am ashamed of is the people who said to me, “i thought you were a good girl?” um. first of all ouch. that really freaking hurts. secondly, i am a grown woman. thirdly, i am a good girl. i’m a fucking great one.

i apologize for the word, but i won’t delete it. i love you all and the christian ones who are trying to be encouraging, i thank you. i just want people who aren’t even reading this to see what they are doing to people who just need love. who just need to feel like they are okay. no. that’s not it. we don’t need to feel that we are okay. because we are. we all have different paths. live and let live. love. encourage. pray if you want. just be kind and love.

i’m not doing this right. i just want the hurts to stop. i want kids to grow up feeling loved not controlled. i want them to feel that whatever choices they make, they will feel loved and accepted.

arrows

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